The feelings are coming back again, what's wrong with me and what should I do? I'm scared and desperate?

To the person who says it's SAD don't listen to her. It sounds like recurring major depression, you need to speak to someone if you want to get better it is the only way, what is lying in bed going to do? You have to speak to a professional so that you can get an accurate diagnoses. Also often when you bottle things up it makes the emotional pain twice as strong. Talk to a family member so they understand what you are going through and so they can help you. Hope you feel better soon :). @naomii your an idiot if you read the question she says she feels better in december. If it was SAD she would be feeling low all through winter.... Do your research before you give people bad information. Infact it sounds more like bipolar then SAD.